My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
