it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
