What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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