Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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