i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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