I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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