In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
