i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
