Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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