I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
