Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Is it penis luge time yet?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
