Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
it hurts more in the daytime
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
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