My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
