I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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