I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
