I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
