he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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