no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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