Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
