just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
