Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
