That's intense
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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