do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
