Your tits are I can't wait for
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
