By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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