it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
