I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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