but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
