Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
