Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
