I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
