I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
