I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
There was a lot of him and a little penis
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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