Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
