party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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