dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Randomize
