I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
should my penis look like a turkey
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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