dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
