Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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