Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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