she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
