Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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