You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
