i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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