I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize