I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
