so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
