Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Randomize
