can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
