I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
it glows. i had to have it.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
