I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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