he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
