Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
