you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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