mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
