Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
