People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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