All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
