Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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