Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
