hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
