Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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