just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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