all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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